Don't Let Me Go
by ImaginaryHeart
Summary: Jacob/Bella One-Shot. AH. Inspired by "Never Say Never" - The Fray
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:**_ _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Suggested Listening: **The Fray – Never Say Never

**Bella**

I had never cried in front of him. Today, most definitely, wouldn't be the first time. While shoving another piece of random clothing into my duffle back, I held my breath and blinked away tears. I wasn't playing this time. I'd had enough.

Over the months, fear held me here. Knowing that I couldn't survive without him weighed heavily on my shoulders making this decision all that much more difficult, but I had to do something, anything so he could understand. He had to know that I loved him more than my life, but I couldn't handle this situation any longer.

My body was shaking with fear as I zipped the bag closed and lifted my eyes for a split second to his hunched figure on the edge of the bed. His head rested in his hands, his fingers tickling the tips of his spiked hair. I watched him breathe in, then out as shallowly as he could. He was trying to calm himself. The way we fought, the amount of passion we both put into it, tore us apart.

Tears rippled into my eyes. I held them there not willing to set them free, not willing to show him that he had indeed gotten the best of me. No, Jacob Black would never know exactly how he made me feel. I couldn't let him know, not now, not ever. If he knew, then he'd know that he was my weakness; that he alone could make or break me. And now, he was breaking me into a million little pieces.

I grabbed my bag sharply and with intent. Jerking his head up, Jacob's eyes fell to the black duffle bag containing every last possession of mine. He squinted. As questions popped into his head, he erased them and all proof of their existence from his brain and his face. Jacob's questions were more about my actual ability to walk out than why I was leaving. He knew the reasons why.

My feet felt like cement blocks as I began my journey through his apartment to the front door. The second long walk seemed to take hours. As I came closer to the front door, the door that I would make sure to shut behind me, the louder my footsteps became. They echoed in my brain asking me if this was the right decision. Was leaving really my goal? Did I have to go?

The answers to those questions still resided in the bedroom with his head in his hands. All he had to do was prove to me that I was his and only his. I wanted him to make me feel needed, to make me feel like I was a part of his life and not some innocent bystander. Why couldn't he get that? Why didn't he understand that I wanted a life with him, a life that we would call ours?

Everything was silent though, and as I turned back toward the door, I felt a slight resistance inside of me begin to stretch like a rubber band. Sooner or later that rubber band would snap; I was sure of it. So, I moved forward, my heavy feet dragging my emotional body toward the door.

With blurry vision, I grabbed the silver door knob. Holding back the tears became my first priority as I felt the walls of my heart cave in and collapse on themselves. Could it be that I was really making a mistake? Mistakes didn't happen my book. Everything happened for a reason.

I turned back around with stinging eyes to find the emptiness of his living room. The red walls brought back happy memories of when he first bought this place and our two week excursion of painting these walls the most ridiculously brightest red we could find.

A tear dripped from my eye onto my cheek. Quickly, I swipedit with the back of my hand as another one filled my eyes to the brim. I couldn't see anything through the thick tears clinging to my eyelashes.

I would miss him – more than anything. _He knew that._

Breathing deeply helped calm down some of the pain burning in my chest. So, I stood with my hand tightly wrapped around the door knob waiting for a sign that I should really be doing this. But, nothing came. Nothing. Not even the man who was supposed to love me, who was supposed to be the other half of me… he didn't even bother to get up and stop me. Did he want me to go?

The burning in my chest became hotter as I slowly twisted the knob giving him a chance to come after me, to finally show me that I was a part of his life. Yet again, no one came to stop me from my mindless oblivion. No one bothered to show me the shaking figure in the next room. No one stressed to me the meaning of walking out on someone else. All I could feel was the pain breathing in my chest and the emptiness echoing in my heart as I walked out his front door, down the hallway, and into the elevator.

As I stepped into the elevator and pressed the ground floor button, I turned with a hopeful heart to the gaping doors that gave a perfect view to apartment 15A all the way and the end of the hall. The tears streaming down my cheeks flooded my body with sobs when the door closed without one sign of him running to stop me.

I wish he would have stopped me like I should have stopped the tears falling from my eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer:**_ _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Suggested Listening: **The Fray – Never Say Never

**Jacob**

She was walking out – leaving – just like that, like I was nothing to her. Her bag was packed and in her hand. All I could do was stare, watch, observe as she flatly looked at me. My life was nothing without her, but I couldn't get up the nerve to do anything. I'd lost myself in everything else. I'd forgotten to show her what she meant to me. And she was leaving. _Leaving._

My heart was beating in my chest, but I felt dead, ashamed. This wasn't like me. Why couldn't I get a hold of myself? I should have done something, anything to stop her, but I didn't. All I could do was hang my head in my hands and try to keep the tears from falling out of my eyes. I couldn't let her see me cry. I couldn't.

Because, then she'd know she had gotten the best of me, and as much as I liked to deny it, I had an ego larger than this room. My ego had been the catalyst of it all. I was too far in, too far gone, too far away from who I really was to understand exactly what was happening. The only reminder was the pumping in my chest that stung with every step she took through the bedroom.

I glanced up at her once. I wanted to see her react. I wanted her to feel something, anything, but she didn't. She was the same cold Bella she'd always been since Edward had taken the other part of her away. If only I could go back in time and protect her from his cold, pathetic ass, then I would.

Her feet were heavy as she slowed to a near stop in the doorway of my bedroom – the bedroom I should be calling 'ours' by now. Did she want to stop? Did she not want to go?

Panic began to sizzle in my stomach when her feet picked up pace and soon she was out of my view. It slowly gurgled into my veins and to my heart shattering it with one quick punch. I closed my eyes as the pain in my chest doubled. Freely, I let the tears fall out of my eyes.

Why was I letting this happen? Why couldn't I just get up and go after her?

The creaking of the door opening set free sobs that I hadn't wanted her to hear. I shook with each tear. Feeling the release carved out the man I had become and left a raw open wound that bled with regret. She was gone, and all I could do was sit here and let her go.

I let her go.

I'd live with that for the rest of my life. I'd feel the pain of her ghost. I'd remember the way her smile brightened the room. I'd remember how my life should have been. I heaved a breath of air as another sob escaped me.

I loved Bella. I loved her more than anything. Why was I letting her go?

My chest caved in on its self and I felt like I couldn't breathe. The air I inhaled didn't fill my lungs. I gasped as another sob tore from me. My heart felt like it was being ripped out and handed back to me. I didn't want it back. I wanted Bella.

I should have stopped her. I should have gotten up and walked through the apartment after her. I should have yelled, screamed, punched the wall. I should have done something to keep her from walking away, but I hadn't. And here I sat with all these regrets spinning inside of my head waiting for her to return.

The sound of the door shutting snapped my attention up. _She was gone. _

In a moment, the man I was and the man I used to be merged into the man I was supposed to be, giving me enough courage to stand up and run. I couldn't let her go. I would never let her go. My feet carried me through the apartment and to the front door. I grabbed the door knob, but stopped as my eyes caught the bright red walls.

A smile broke through the sadness on my face. Picking out this paint with Bella had been one of my favorite memories. She'd mocked me for wanting a red living room, calling me every whorish name you could think of, only to compliment me once our two week extravaganza had been completed. This was her favorite room. Bella was this room; she was built into the foundation. She was the soul behind the bright red walls and the dark wood floors. She was both light and dark, quiet and loud, soft and hard.

I swung the door open. The beeping of the elevator doors shutting caused my feet to shove me out of the apartment and into the dank, dark hallway.

_I wasn't going to let her go._

I ran down the hall to the stairwell doors next to the elevator. If I couldn't stop the elevator, I'd just have to beat it. It took everything I had inside of me to jog down the steps – sometimes taking them two at a time. I had to get to her. I had to stop her before she was gone.

The thought of a life without her caused the panic embers to blaze. My body was suddenly on fire as panic fueled it. Tears burned the corners of my eyes, but I had no time to stop. I didn't have time to think. All I could do was run as fast, as hard, as quick as I could. I had to find her. I had to prove to her that I wanted this, that I needed this, that I needed her.

Slinging the door at the ground floor open, I watched her walk through the glass doors of my apartment building. Her shoulders sagged and her chest heaved. Was she…crying?

I'd never seen or heard Bella cry before. My beating heart stopped as the realization flooded me. I had hurt her. I hurt her. I swallowed the lump in my throat, fanned back the panic, and ran.

It didn't matter if I had hurt her, because I would fix it. I'd fix everything. I wasn't going to let her go. She couldn't go. She was my life, my heart, my soul. Bella was everything and anything to me. My world was hers and her world was mine. We'd forever share an eternity together, because that's what she deserved. She deserved happiness. She deserved a happy ending.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer:**_ _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Suggested Listening: **The Fray – Never Say Never

**Jacob**

People crowed the lobby of the ground floor making it damn near impossible to gain access to the front door. It was times like this that made me want to live somewhere with more vacancy. But, I had no time to debate my choice of apartment buildings. I had to get to Bella. I had to stop her before she was too far gone.

So, I ran. I pushed people out of my way with a flick of my wrist. I spun on my heels avoiding baby carriages, and I dodged three year olds with baby dolls. Skidding to a halt as I slid out of the revolving door, I looked left and then right only to see mobs of people walking, talking, laughing, and smiling.

"Mr. Black," the doorman approached me. "She went that way." He pointed to my left.

I nodded my head. Without thanking him, I darted down the side walk making my way through the faceless crowd only to find the one face I was so anxiously looking for at the corner. Bella raised her arm and waved for a cab – any cab – that would take her far away from this place, from me.

My feet pressed into the cement sidewalk and launched me toward her. I focused on her chestnut hair, and her tiny body heaving in sadness. In my chest, my heart began to rattle as it cracked and distorted with the sight of Bella's sadness. Her sadness was my sadness, now. I could feel her tears dripping down my face.

I reached my hand up to my cheek and wiped away the tears.

She flicked her wrist again completely unaware of my proximity. My eyes caught a bright yellow cab pulling toward the curb. The panic blaze burning in my veins exploded like a nuclear bomb.

"Bells," I screamed. Her body froze, but I caught the slight gasp escape her chest.

Bella turned. Her red crying eyes spotted my own through the masses of people. For a moment, time stopped and my world shattered as I watched the tears of pain, regret, and fear leak out of her chocolate brown eyes. They dripped from her chin and onto the cold, hard sidewalk beneath my feet. Watching her cry, seeing her tears, flooded my eyes with my own. I lunged forward and wrapped her up in my arms.

"Please," I buried my face in her hair.

Bella reluctantly pushed against me. I pulled back only to find her own insecurities written across her face.

"Stop," her voice spoke barely above a whisper. "It's too late."

The bleeding wound in my chest gapped open. She turned her back to me, and took a step toward the cab in front of her. But I wasn't going out like this. I couldn't let her go without trying to stop her. I had to stop her.

I grabbed her arm firmly and spun her around to face me. I yanked the bag from her hands – not caring who saw me or how hard I had jerked. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that she knew how I felt, that she knew I was trying, that she knew I wanted this. I wanted her.

"No, it's not." Firmly, the words parted my lips.

Cupping her cheeks in the palms of my hands, I gazed deeply into her puffy red eyes only to feel my heart breaking more. I knew I was the cause of her tears. I never wanted to see her cry again. I swallowed thickly as her tears acted like magnets pulling my own out of the corners of my eyes and down my cheeks.

"Yes, it is," she tried to assure me I was too late, but I knew I wasn't. It was never too late.

"No, it's not," I whispered feeling her resistance to me being in front of her, watching her cry, fade away.

Bella blinked as her hand lifted up and grasped mine. Her mouth parted as a sob escaped her perfect lips. "Jake."

The way she cried my name, the tears pouring from her eyes, the pain she felt – it all exploded from me in my own silent sob that only she heard. "Bells."

"Don't let me go."

Tears dripped from her eyes like rain drops during a midsummer's day thunderstorm. I pressed my forehead to hers and squeezed her cheeks with my hands.

"I'll never let you go, Bells. Never."

The words poured from my lips in the most truthful statement I'd ever spoken. Through her eyes, I saw my reflection. It was the reflection of a man who had been brought to his breaking point. It was the reflection of someone who had learned his lesson. It was the reflection of the man I'd always wanted to be and I had this beautifully petite woman to thank for that.

Silently and with all the love I held inside for her, I opened the door to my heart and kissed her tear stained lips.

"I'll never let go."


End file.
